© 2015. All artwork is under the protection of copyright law. The artist, Anya Holloway holds exclusive rights over artwork and reproductions. Attempts to copy, reproduce, or create derivative works is prohibited.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Call me maybe.....

Lunenburg King Street. ..Sold 

Telemarketing... I finally have mastered the art of discombobulating those frequent callers. After putting myself on the "no call" list (to no avail) I decided it was time to try a different strategy. The phone rings yet again.
A voice on the other end asks "Is this Mrs. MaKee?" Not even my name but one of the numbers that is listed in the public phone book under my household.  I was thinking quickly "Oh my" I said "She just passed away last week". Without letting him get a word in edgewise and barely pausing to breathe, I proceeded to tell him the story of her demise.
" Poor Mrs. MaKee" I said.  " She loved her Scotch you know and every evening would sit down to watch her favourite cooking show, with tumbler filled to the brim. She loved her striped fuzzy socks and wearing her flannel nightie with her 95 year old mottled gams hoisted up on her footstool". (I could hear him breathing).. "you wouldn't believe how many times we told her not to wear those striped socks as the bottoms were just too damn slippery. Well wouldn't you know it sir, she wanted to get herself a little more Scotch, wouldn't let us get it for her so she jumped up to get more before the commercial ended, tripped on her footstool,  slid clear across the room and because of those socks ended up  with her legs in the air, those bright knee highs pointing up to the ceiling and sir, she still had a grip on her Scotch glass." I kept talking..."The funeral was quite an event and everyone was there who was anyone. The  flowers where lovely . So many spoke about her colourful life. I was wondering if your company would like to make a donation in her memory to the UAA? It would be wonderful..oh, I should tell you it stands for Underpaid Artists Association as Mrs. MaKee loved art.." I heard a click... wonder if he will call back..don't think so... Payback is awesome....


  1. Let's get this blogs into a book. Toooooooo funny. Love your rain boot addiction! Have one myself except I call them "rubbers for the barn" You can never have enough rain boots.

  2. How True..Wellies are the best! :)

  3. Very funny. I've decided, like you, that if I can't avoid them, I might as well have some fun. Their most precious commodity is time, so I choose to use it against them in conversation. I still get calls from the "Windows" company, that scam based out of India. I lead them on for a while and then proclaim I only have Macs, at which point they hang up. Next up - "what? My windows are all clean? What are you going on about? Can you see my windows from there? What am I wearing?"

  4. hahaha....good one Gary! They drive me nuts! :) I would love to write a little mini book to sit beside the phone "100 things to say to a telemarketer to make them crazy"... hmm, there's an idea..

  5. Anj! Love this post. I read it half an hour ago and am still laughing my ass off! I really love your Blog and always look forward to the next new post.
    XO Chris

  6. Hey Chris! Thanks girl! I have typed it out for Garry and it sits by the phone now so he knows what to say as well.....haha
    P.S. LOVE your hats!!! They are right up my alley and are amazing.. I left a comment, hope you got it...xo


Blog Archive